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Candide, Or The Optimist

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How Candide found his Wife again, and lost his Mistress. 

OUR hero had only to bear with the haughty humours of his master, and that was purchasing his mistress's favours at no dear rate. Happy love is not so easily concealed as many imagine. Our lovers betrayed themselves. Their connection was no longer a mystery but to the short-sighted eyes of Wolhall. All the domestics knew it. Candide received congratulations on that head which made him tremble. He expected the storm ready to burst upon his head, and did not doubt but a person who had been dear to him was upon the point of accelerating his misfortune. He had for some days before perceived a face resembling Miss Cunegund; he again saw the same face in Wolhall's courtyard. The object which struck him was very poorly clothed, and there was no likelihood that a favourite of a great Mahometan should be found in the courtyard of a house at Copenhagen. This disagreeable object, however, looked at Candide very attentively. When coming up to him, and seizing him by the hair, she gave him the smartest blow on the face with her open hand that he had received for some time. "I am not deceived," cried our philosopher. "Oh, heavens! who would have thought it? What do you do here after having suffered yourself to be adopted by a follower of Mahomet. Go, perfidious spouse, I know you not." "Thou shalt know me," replied Cunegund, "by ray outrageous fury. I know the life thou leadest, thy love for thy master's niece, and thy contempt for me. Alas! it is now three months since I quitted the seraglio, because I was there good for nothing further. A merchant has bought me to mend his linen; he takes me along with him when he makes a voyage to this country; Martin, Cacambo, and Pacquette, whom he has also bought, are with me; Doctor Pangloss, through the greatest chance in the world, was in the same vessel as a passenger; we were shipwrecked some miles from hence; I escaped the danger with the faithful Cacambo, who, I swear to thee, has a skin as firm as thy own. I behold thee again, and find thee false. Tremble, then, and fear everything from a provoked wife."
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