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Candide, Or The Optimist

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During their voyage they amused themselves with many profound reasonings on poor Pangloss's philosophy. "We are now going into another world, and surely it must be there that everything is best; for I must confess that we have had some little reason to complain of what passes m ours, both as to the physical and moral part. Though I have a sincere love for you," said Miss Cunegund, "yet I still shudder at the reflection of what I have seen and experienced." "All will be well," replied Candide. "The sea of this new world is already better than our European seas; it is smoother, and the winds blow more regularly." "God grant it," said Cunegund." But I have met with such terrible treatment in this that I have almost lost all hopes of a better." "What murmuring and complaining is here indeed!" cried the old woman. "If you had suffered half what I have done there might be some reason for it." Miss Cunegund could scarce refrain laughing at the good old woman, and thought it droll enough to pretend to a greater share of misfortunes than herself. "Alas! my good dame," said she, "unless you had been ravished by two Bulgarians, had received two deep wounds in your body, had seen two of your own castles demolished, had lost two fathers and two mothers, and seen both of them barbarously murdered before your eyes, and, to sum up all, had two lovers whipped at an auto-da-fé, I cannot see how you could be more unfortunate than I. Add to this, though born a baroness, and bearing seventy-two quarterings, I have been reduced to a cook-wench." "Miss," replied the old woman, " you do not know my family as yet; but if I were to show you everything, you would not talk in this manner, but suspend your judgment." This speech raised a high curiosity in Candide and Cunegund, and the old Avoman continued as follows.   

The History of the Old Woman. 

"I HAVE not always been blear eyed; my nose did not always touch my chin; nor was I always a servant. You must know that I am the daughter of Pope Urban X and of the Princess of Palestrina.
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