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The Importance of Being Earnest
Oscar Wilde

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ALGERNON
Why is it that at a bachelor’s establishment the servants invariably drink the champagne? I ask merely for information.

LANE
I attribute it to the superior quality of the wine, sir. I have often observed that in married households the champagne is rarely of a first-rate brand.

ALGERNON
Good heavens! Is marriage so demoralising as that?

LANE
I believe it is a very pleasant state, sir. I have had very little experience of it myself up to the present. I have only been married once. That was in consequence of a misunderstanding between myself and a young person.

ALGERNON
[Languidly.] I don’t know that I am much interested in your family life, Lane.

LANE
No, sir; it is not a very interesting subject. I never think of it myself.

ALGERNON
Very natural, I am sure. That will do, Lane, thank you.

LANE
Thank you, sir. [LANE goes out.]

ALGERNON
Lane’s views on marriage seem somewhat lax. Really, if the lower orders don’t set us a good example, what on earth is the use of them? They seem, as a class, to have absolutely no sense of moral responsibility.
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