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The Importance of Being Earnest
Oscar Wilde

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FIRST ACT
 
SCENE  Morning-room in Algernon’s flat in Half-Moon Street. The room is luxuriously and artistically furnished. The sound of a piano is heard in the adjoining room.
 
[LANE is arranging afternoon tea on the table, and after the music has ceased, ALGERNON enters.]


ALGERNON
Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?

LANE
I didn’t think it polite to listen, sir.

ALGERNON
I’m sorry for that, for your sake. I don’t play accurately—any one can play accurately—but I play with wonderful expression. As far as the piano is concerned, sentiment is my forte. I keep science for Life.

LANE
Yes, sir.

ALGERNON
And, speaking of the science of Life, have you got the cucumber sandwiches cut for Lady Bracknell?

LANE
Yes, sir. [Hands them on a salver.]

ALGERNON
[Inspects them, takes two, and sits down on the sofa.] Oh! . . . by the way, Lane, I see from your book that on Thursday night, when Lord Shoreman and Mr. Worthing were dining with me, eight bottles of champagne are entered as having been consumed.

LANE
Yes, sir; eight bottles and a pint.
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